Why Me? Why?

Cow Kitty loves staring out the window. He lurves it. So sometimes he attracts attention 'cause he's just so darn-tootin' cute.

This time it was a little girl who kept looking into my window as I was peacefully trying to watch The Simpsons. So I thought I would do something nice, Winnipeg-style, and not be my usual bitch self, Toronto-style. I opened the screen door and said: Do you wanna pet the nice kitty?

Big mistake. Big. Huge.

She proceeds to call over her brother and some other little boy who I presume is their friend. They stand in my doorway and pet the kitty. Okaaaay, fine.

THEN they spot the Game Cube. After that it's all "Can we come in?" "Can we play video games?" "Can I feed the cat?" "Can I see the cat's babies?" (This being a male cat and all.) "You know that cat's babies are called kittens?" "Where are your children?" "How come you have a Game Cube and no children?" You should have seen their eyebrows fall right off the top of their heads when I said my husband and I played it. "Can we play the Game Cube?" "Pleeeeeease?" "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!?!"

I cannot deal with these children so I sent them off to ask their mothers if they could come inside, thinking that any smart parent would immediately say: HELL NO! And that would be the end of that.

But I suck and the world, particularity Winnipeg, is out to get me so of course one kid comes back and says his mother said he's allowed to come in. Huh? Is she out of her tree? Maybe he's lying, I have no idea.

So the kid marches right into my apartment and politely takes his shoes off. At least his crazy-ass parents have taught him some manners. And then makes himself comfortable in front of the Game Cube.

And just at that moment, who happens to walk by but none other than citrusboy. Ah dear god, my saviour. I say: Honey, this boy wants to play video games. Why don't you play with him? And like the good husband he is, as he can no longer extricate himself from this situation amicably, he parks his ass on the carpet and plays Game Cube with some random kid from the neighbourhood. For several hours.

I run away to the computer and pretend I'm really really busy, grown-up fashion. I grow weary and tired and want to take a nap. But the kid plays on. How the hell do we get rid of this kid?

Then he goes to the bathroom. And takes a pee with the door ajar. Oh dear god. But he did wash his hands after.

Finally citrusboy says the kid has to pack it up because we're going out. As a consolation prize, he lends the kid some PS1 games. Turns out he has a PS2 at home. And here I thought he was video game deprived.

As he's leaving he's all: I'm gonna come back tomorrow and we can play some more. Okay? Okay?

Great, I can never open my blinds again. I hope I can learn to live in a world of darkness. And oh yeah, I have to kill that cat of mine.

That's the very first and last time I try to be nice.