Mmm Pizza!

Ironically, this occured

the same day as this
That's one hell of a midnight snack!

Team Hurty Legs

"Ran" the 5k this morning. Well, hobbled, crawled, rolled, whatever. Semantics.

Finished right before the thunderstorm of the century started, which is a good thing, because there was no way I was going to "run" in the rain!

Thank God I never have to do that again, is all I have to say.
Sexy, sexy sweat...

Someone hand me a martini. Quick!

45 Things (I Hate About You?)

Stolen from meg's blog:

45 random things you probably never needed to know about someone:

1. Whats your name spelt backwards?: lesmad gepinniw
   
2. What did you do last night?: Ran 5k on the track, scarfed down some pizza, watched the Oilers lose, and fell asleep with an ice pack on my poor, poor shins
   
3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: The Apprentice epi 13 and Lost's season finale
   
4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: um, probably
   
5. Last time you swam in a pool?: 4 months ago?
   
6. What are you wearing?: PJ's
7. How many cars have you owned?: 1
8. Type of music you dislike most?: The really cheesy country, and no, it's never enjoyable
9. Are you registered to vote?: Yars
10. Do you have cable?: Lots of it. Oh UPN, how I love you.
    
11. What kind of computer do you use?: Uh...a monster machine that someone built for us
    
12. Ever made a prank phone call?: In my disallusioned youth
    
13. You like anyone right now?: Well, I guess I like my husband. Even though he snores
    
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: Not ever in this lifetime or the next
15. Furthest place you ever traveled?: Europe
16. What's your favorite comic strip?: Sherman's Lagoon and Fox Trot
    
17. Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: Since I haven't sung it for, like, 15 years, I'd have to go with no. Terrible, ain't it?
18. Shower, morning or night?: Night because then I don't have to waste precious sleep time drying my damned hair
    
19. Best movie you've seen in the past month?: Waiting. Wait, define "best".
    
20. Favorite pizza toppings?: Bacon, mushrooms, and pineapple
    
21. Chips or popcorn?: Chips
22. What cell phone provider do you have?: Telus Mobility.
23. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: Pardon-eh moi? Anarchist's Cookbook, huh?
    
24. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: No
25. Orange Juice or apple?: Neither. Bleh. I'm a water girl.
    
26. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: Lunch? Are we still in high shcool? Cow Kitty, then.
    
27. Favorite chocolate bar?: this Kinder coconut bar thingy that I will probably never EVER find in backwards Winnipeg
    
28. Who is your longest friend and how long?: Christine and NH, oh about 14 years. Gulp.
    
29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: A what now?
    
30. Have you ever won a trophy?: In what? Speed reading?
    
31. Favorite arcade game?: Street Fighter
    
32. Ever ordered from an infomercial?: No
    
33. Sprite or 7-UP?: Bleh. Neither. Perrier, anyone? Anyone?
    
34. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: Oh gawd yes. Welcome to my high school
35. Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: Where now? Do I look like Shandi?
    
36. Ever thrown up in public?: Uh, does a public bathroom count? In the sink?
37. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: Does finding true love preclude ever becoming a millionaire?
38. Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
39. SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: Who now? I vote for Polkaroo
    
40. Did you have long hair as a young kid?: Yes
41. What message is on your voicemail machine?: "Mreeeeeeeeeeeeow"
42. Where would you like to go right now?: For Sushi and Martinis
    
43. Whats the name of your pet(s)?: Cow Kitty and Fatty
    
44. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: A Tracker 2 and it's perfectly empty! Weehaw!
    
45. What do you think about most?: Sushi. And martinis.
    

May 2-4 Interlude

We went to the fair.

Citrusboy almost puked on the rides.
Need I say more?
Well, probably not, but just to garner sympathy, I'll add: I was stuck between two pukers and one behind me. My hair endured a lot that day...

Star Wars Procrastination

In my quest to do anything to actually avoid doing what I'm supposed to be doing (and this includes reading Sweet Valley High books), I have come across some pretty random things.

But this one thing was absolutely not my fault. See, it was in my psychology textbook. And I can't be blamed for that, now can I?

This thing happens to be a Star Wars Personality Test which compares you to Star Wars characters. And it's all on the up and up, seeing as how it's university research and all.

Oh, and apparently? I'm a bitch. Check it out yourself.

See how Winnipeg Damsel compares to Emperor Palpatine

Here piggy, piggy, piggy...

Instead of, you know, actually writing the psych essay that's due in a couple of hours, I've decided to put learning to practical use and do this Pig Personality Test that I found on Just Say No's blog.

Apparently it means:
Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.

Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.)
Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you remember dates
Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With many details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful.
With few details, you are emotional and naive, they care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With less than 4 legs, they are insecure or are living through a period of major change.
With 4 legs showing, they are secure, stubborn, and stick to their ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.
The bigger the better. You drew small ears, you are an OK listener

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life.
And again more is better! You drew large tail, WOW!

I don't agree with the risk-taker part (are you kidding me???), but the rest, I could go with. Maybe I should write my essay on the value of the piggy as testing tool.

Wasabi Wars

Of course, we had to have sushi while in Toronto, so New Homeowner, Running Man, citrusboy and I went out to dinner one night.

We massacred a huge boat-load of sushi. Literally.

Then NH dared RM to eat a huge glob of wasabi. And all it took was $20.

The aftermath? Not so pleasant.

The next day, a whole pile of us went over to Christine and The Head's place. Christine and I decided we wanted sushi, so we ordered a monstrous party platter. The more sushi, the merrier. Don't look at me like that. Hey, I heard that.

So again, someone dared someone to eat some wasabi. And he was a willing participant for only $5. Aftermath? Even worse.
Obviously, we are an extremely mature bunch.

The Wonderful World of Toronto Broke-ness. I Mean Shopping.

So now that I've gotten my bitching out of the way, let me tell you about the rest of my trip: it was pure bliss when my mother wasn't around.

We somehow ended up at the Pearl Jam concert at the Air Canada Centre. I've never been to a PJ concert before. Let me tell you, it was awesome. They played Black so I was as happy as a girl back in Toronto from toiling away in the 'Peg can be (ie: as happy as a pig in shit). I was amused to see Eddie Vedder still totin' his bottle o' wine around. I was also amused to find that I was high by the end of the first song. And not because I was smoking the wacky-tobacky myself.

We also did a lot of shopping. Okay, okay, fine. I did a lot of shopping. But mostly for things that don't dare set up shop in Winnipeg for fear they'd go under in two seconds flat. Starting with my beloved Sephora, of course. Oh Philosophy, how do I love thee. Let me count the ways. Cinnabuns. Melon Daquari (that one's for citrusboy, so don't even look at me). Lavender Poundcake - it was love at first sniff. Unfortunately, Coconut Cream Pie was not to be had.

Then, off to L'Occitane where I finally, finally got my Lavender Face Cleanser and Lotion. And as a neat surprise, I noticed they had a new line. Which, of course, smelled fantabulous. Citrusboy LOVED it, so I got me some almond dry oil too! Score!

We also hit Banana Republic where citrusboy got some jeans and shirts and Lululemon, where, sadly, I could not decide what to get, so I got nothing. My rationale: There is actually a Lululemon in the 'Peg, so if desperate, I can go there.

Also went to my precious Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma, but wouldn't you know it? They had nothing I wanted. Weird. Empty handed from PB? What a travesty!

Spent a crap-load of time with friends, but that's another post. Complete with pictures.

Back from TO

I refuse to say T-dot. How gay is that? (The fact that some call it that, not the fact that I refuse to.)

So on the breeze of NH's latest entry, I'll kick off my own. The first thing my mother did when she saw me (after not seeing me for a whooooooooole year) was to say: Holy mother of GOD, you're still fucking fat. (Must be something in the fucking water in the GTA!)

Nice. Love you too, mom.

The second thing she said was: Where the hell are my grandchildren?

Uh... while I was still contemplating an answer to that, the third thing she said was: You already look pregnant. Get a move on.

What. The. Hell.

She would not let up. All day she was on me about my fatty ass. And arms. And stomach. And... well you get the picture. I told her I go to the gym. I told her how much I go to the gym. She was all: That's not possible. You should be skinny by now and you're still huge. You must stuff your face day and night. I told her what I eat, and I think she almost called me a liar.

Then she told me she doesn't eat anything. Ever. Great way to lose that extra 80 lbs, mom. I see it's really working for you.

We went to dinner at citrusboy's parent's place that night for a BBQ and she watched us like a hawk, she did.

All night, it was: How many did you have? (Citrusboy had two burgers before she started giving him the evil eye.) You can't eat that - you're not allowed to eat any sugar. (Just as I was taking my first bite of a cookie.) You have to eat only fruit in the morning because your stomach can only digest that. (She tells the nutrition major.) I decide to add that that is total bullshit and she wonders what crap they're teaching me in school.

Then she decides she's also a fitness expert, and tells me that aerobic exercise is crap, especially if you're trying to lose weight on your stomach. Apparently the only thing one needs to do to lose belly fat is sit ups. That's it. No running around necessary. And here I thought it was going to be hard or something. Silly me.

She almost, almost told me that I better watch it or my husband's going to leave my fat ass. I wonder how she restrained herself?

And to top off the evening, she sighed to the entire table about how she wished she had more children now that she looks back on her life. I guess she wishes some of them were somewhere in the vicinity of 50 lbs at the age of almost 30. And that's collectively, I'm sure.

And this all in one day folks. Can I tell you how cowtastic the other 6 days were?

By the way, can someone please tell me I'm not THAT fat or I think I might have a coronary right here, right now.

Fluffy pink clouds, calm blue ocean, fluffy pink clouds, calm blue ocean...

Plane, can you go further than Winnipeg? Nigeria sounds good, right about now.

One Cranky Leafs Fan...

Food? What Food?

Citrusboy and I decided to go to Superstore for our groceries the other day since they were having a $1 sale. And I like sales. Even if it is on food.

And wouldn't you know it? All, and I mean ALL, the frozen burritos and deli sub sandwiches were gone - not even the tattered remains of a wrapper were left - but all, and I mean ALL, the baby carrots, mushrooms, celery, and red peppers were still piled high. I guess "leave no veg behind" doesn't apply here. I certainly had my pick of those.

I fear for the future of this province. This does not bode well.

Oscar. Mike. Golf.

So. Citrusboy and I were at the gym last night, practicing our kata, when, horrifyingly, the largest and loudest belch ever in the history of belches erupted from my body. It reverberated throughout the entire gym, bouncing of the walls in echo form. Birds flew off the rafters in fear. The Ride of the Valkyries started playing. And not just in my head.

Oooops.

After everybody was done gawking at us, I fell to the floor laughing. It was all I could do. How mortifying.

The upshot? Everybody probably thought it was citrusboy that did it, anyhow.