And by the way, what the hell is a Christmas Orange? It's called a CLEMENTINE, people!!!

That is all.

What. The Hell. Is WRONG. With. Winnipeg Drivers?!?!

Really, I have never encountered such stupidity, such slowness, such an unbelievably large grouping of people that should not have their licenses. Ever. AND I ALMOST DIDN'T GET MINE!

Did you know that:

*A speed limit of 80 km/h actually means 60 km/h?
*A speed limit of 60 km/h actually means 40 km/h?
*The only exception to the 2 above points is when it's raining or snowing? That in those conditions you should always exceed the speed limit by 20 km/h?
*The left lane is the slow lane?
*You should never drive in the right lane?
*After a light turns green, you should always wait a full 30 seconds before stepping on the gas?
*You should brake whenever you feel like it, especially when there is nothing in front of you?
*You should run red lights whenever possible?
*You should always try to race a smart car? Even when you're driving a golf cart?

Well. Now I know.

I guess there's just not enough room in the Driver's Handbook for everything.

Over the long weekend, we drove down (up? across?) to Kenora for their Harbourfest (pretty lame, but what do you want from a town of 16500 people?) in a relay of 8 smart cars.
Hee, was that ever fun!

We got free lunch too (even if it was dirty bird!) because the owner is a smart owner as well.

All I can say is:
Kenora: 500km there and back.
1 tank of gas.
$20.
Gotta love it!

So, as you may or may not know, I let my driver's license expire. Dumbass move, but I'm a little bit of a dumbass as it is.

I went with my already-3-year-expired license (which was an Ontario G2 license, by the way) to MPI to try to get it renewed. The guy decides I need to prove I'm a Manitoba resident, so the only thing that will satisfy him is a copy of our apartment lease!!!

Fine. I go get it and go back to MPI. Then, after another 10 minutes, he finally realizes the Ontario license is expired! DANG! I was so so very close to getting away with it!

Then I'm told I will have to do the written part, or the 365, or whatever the hell they call it now, again. Guh. And then a driver's test. Double guh.

So the next day, I go to the Driver's Testing Centre to write my 365, where they hand me a pen and a sheet of paper. I was flabbergasted. Gob-smacked. Just plain old speechless. So I says to the lady: "Dontcha have computers for these things?" Apparently not. They're coming in several more years. Now, when I was in Ontario and 16 (which was like 500 years ago) and I "wrote" my 365, it was a multiple choice computer test. Wow. WOW. Wowzers.

Anyhow, I got 4 wrong out of an allowable 6, so yay for me. I guess that's alright after just glancing at the driver's handbook the night before. The really stupid part was that there were 2 questions about fuel efficiency, which I got wrong - of course. Fuel efficiency?? Are you kidding me??? On a driver's knowledge of the-rules-of-the-road test?? BLEH! Who cares what the percentage of more fuel burned is when you go 20km/h over the speed limit! I sure don't! Also? I had a question asking me what colour order the lights were in, from top to bottom on a traffic light. Now that's my kind of question! And for all you people who may not think so, I did actually get that one right.

So because I already actually had a license, expired or otherwise, I could book my road test right away without the how-ever long waiting period.

So Monday rolls around and my test is for 7:45 in the morning. Do they even open that early?? Crazy! First, I get there and it turns out I've forgotten to bring my license with me! My gawd, I am such a moron most of the time. The guy gives me 10 minutes to go get it and come back. I make it back with 2 minutes to spare. Heh.

So I go through my driving test, through no less then 349 residential streets, all with at least 9207 parked cars on the side. Guh. And for the parallel park? The car is 2.5 meters long. The space was 7.5 meters long. The guy just let me barely back in, then he was all "whatever, good enough, let's go," without letting me straighten out. Okay buddy, fine with me!

So. The maximum number of points before you fail: 50. The number of points Winnipeg Damsel got: 50. As if and whatever. Apparently I don't signal and check properly before moving around parked cars. Look Winnipeg: I've seen the drivers you give licenses to, so STICK IT IN YOUR &^$&*! And rotate. And then smoke it.

Anyhow, you are now looking at a fully-licensed (not any of this graduated licensing bullshit!) Damsel. Mwahahahaha. Ahem. Anyhoo...

So I'm finally free of the crunch of summer school - 4 classes in 1.5 months! Whoo!
Did Stats in a little over 3 weeks and 3 Nutrition course in about 6 weeks.

Got my first choice for my practicum placement next year and will also be taking 6 courses in September, as well as applying for my dietetics internship! Thus, my head will probably spin of my neck next year, right up until I graduate.

Stuff has happened but nothing too exciting. I will post as I think of these things.

I worked at the Red River Ex this year for 5 days over at the Green Kitchen, where everything is made from plant products. That was pretty interesting, but I could see most Manitobans just did not care.

Since I was already there, citrusboy came by to visit a couple of times. We played some games, ate some seriously crap yet yummy food, and wandered around.

At one point, I came across a Sri Lanken food stand that promised me a beef patty. When you hear the words beef patty. you think of this:
Right?

Well, I got this:
Not so good. An actual beef patty. Like you find in a burger. I was speechless. Mind you, the two behind the counter were no geniuses. They probably realized that there were actual beef patties in the freezer days later! I even heard them tell someone that they had no more of a particular item WHILE the person was pointing at said item. WOW.

So we just stuffed the "beef patty" into citrusboy's meat and cheese burger (actual meat and cheese - SHOCK!)
and he claims it was super good.
Of course, no EX visit is complete without some rain, but we did see a rainbow on our way out.
Of course, it started to clear up as soon as we decided to leave!

OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING.

Look at the date, people. And send snowshoes.

So citrusboy and I spent all day trying to beat the computer at Wii Tennis.

Now, not only do I have Wii Elbow, I also have Wii Arm and Wii Shoulder.

Can you say: sad, sad couch damsel?

Welcome to Winnipeg: Home of Men with Large Dongs.

Last weekend citrusboy and I went out for sushi (as was promised to me) and we happened to get an itemized bill.

I thought I would share with you all the extent to which we are total and utter pig-os.

Just in case you couldn't count: that's 24 items between the two of us, 9 of which are rolls containing 6 pieces each (that's 54 pieces), 10 of which are nigiri and sashimi (so that's at least another 20 pieces), and 5 of which are tempura appetizers.

To our defense: it was all you can eat. So we ate until we could eat no more.

Oink.

You know those cell phone charms you get out of, like, vending machines?

Well, I got a Hello Kitty one and I think she has a little bit of an attitude. Especially for someone who resides in a Taco Bell.

Well, in one week I've managed to finish two Wii games: Trauma Center and Cooking Mama.

Trauma Center was pretty fun but easy enough to finish and definitely worth a rental.

Cooking Mama got boring really quickly as you do the same thing over and over again, but it was kind of amusing to see which recipe would pop up next. They even had sushi, which was exciting (for me anyhow) but my favourites were perogies and truffles (of course!).

Now I just need to work on finishing Super Paper Mario but I'm so slow. I die all the damned time. I need Super Life, that's what I need.

Finally.

I'm done exams and can stop ignoring people. And this blog (damn you, Facebook!).

Except now, I'll be ignoring people in favour of the Wii.

Nothing exciting has happened in Winnipeg lately, mostly because I've had my face in a textbook for about three weeks now so haven't had the chance to notice anything wild and crazy.

Except for the guy who horked up on my porch while Jen and I were trying to eat some sushi in silent bliss.

So, nothing has changed then, you say. Indeed.

Stranded... At the gym...
What shall I do?
What will they say Tuesday at school?

Gyyyym, can't you see that I'm a misery
Made a start, now we're apart
There's nothing left for me
Exercise has flown, all alone
I sit and wonder why whyyyyyyyyy oh why
You closed on Easter Monday,
Oh Gym....

So my Stats exam is on Friday they 13th.

What's the probability of that, I ask you?

According to Google Maps, this is the way to travel if you're in Winnipeg and you just happen to want to go to Krakow, Poland.

My personal favourite? Step #24. I'll be sure to get right on that...

Winnipeg, City of Public Defecation

See where I live, people?

And this is where, like, half of Winnipeg works too...

And why am I always staring at guys taking a shit in broad daylight?

Nails, Nails, Nails!

As I was getting this one done, we couldn't decide what it reminded us of - all of us were just sure it reminded us of something.

We finally decided these are the totally ultimate 80s toes:
And the not so 80s hands:

Wednesdays are kickboxing days.

This last particular Wednesday, right before kickboxing, I somehow managed to pull out the string/elastic thingy that holds one's pants up.

I spent the entire class trying to keep from exposing my ass to the rest of the participants as the instructor made us run around the gym, skip rope, and other things hazardous to my pants falling down.

I'm sure I looked like the complete fool that I felt...

A little Winnipeg bird emailed me some pictures of Friday's festivities. I hope you feel my pain.

Went to a party on Friday night. Drank two bottles of red wine. Woke up in pretty okay shape. Just a little stupid, that's all.

Turns out citrusboy was mixing beer with wine, so he woke up wrecked. Couldn't even move his head.

So he enlisted my help, along with Jen's, to go get him some Burger King to soothe the angry hangover beast.

Now, it's pretty warm in Winnipeg. Ten feet high snow caps are melting everywhere.

So Jen and I are sitting in the car, waiting to turn out of the Burger King parking lot and into the street. Her window is rolled down, oh, about one inch.

And apparently, unbeknown to us, there's a huge (I mean HUGE) puddle right next to our car.

Of course, cars are driving down the street, past us, and right into this huge puddle. Which then proceeds to throw up a wall of filthy, greasy, street water right through the one inch crack in the window and onto Jen and me. Twice.

So Jen's hair, Jen's face, Jen's glasses, Jen's jacket, and Jen's purse are plastered in nastiness. The ceiling of the car, the dash, and the seats are coated. My jacket and my pants are dirty. All we can do is stare at each other and laugh till it hurts. I mean, really? What else can you do? How does that happen? A one inch crack...

Somehow, the Burger King remained untouched. Not a single drop fell into the bag even though it was wide open. Luck of the drunk.

I woke up this morning to discover that my pee was red. A nice shade of blood red.

I panicked for a full ten minutes (and by panic, I mean run around in circles screaming in high pitch while my heart beats right out of my chest) before I realized I had eaten a whole whack of beets the night before.

I am such an idiot sometimes.

This again? Oh my gaw.

Give it up, stupid Winnipeg winter. It can't be -40°C forever!

Wait. What am I saying? It probably can. I heard it snowed in May once...

Excuse me, I have to go find some wood to knock on.

Okay. So now I can add to yesterday's post about tweedledum and tweedledee. Thank god. I mean, what would I do with my life otherwise, I ask you?

Apparently tweedledum does not know what "devoid" means either.

(And I would just like to add that I am not making fun of people whose first language is not English. These girls have been born and bred in Canada. In fact, they've probably lived here longer than I have.)

And if I remember correctly, she also asked me to define "void."

Tweedledee went on to correct my speech some more, and decided to change "the child and his or her parents" to "the child and their parents."

I can't take it anymore. I just can't. Especially after they made me come into school at 9 in the morning - that's SIX hours early - just so I could listen to more of their idiocy.

*sigh*

Well, as usual, I get stuck working with the dumbasses of the faculty.

One doesn't know what "restitution" means. Another doesn't know what "commence" means.

Just how am I supposed to write a 10 minute speech with these people when they don't know basic vocabulary, are quite the opposite of comma happy, and think it's a tragedy when a paragraph only contains one sentence.

And then they want to correct my section of the speech. Please ladies, just leave it alone. Don't touch it, don't look at it, don't even breathe on it! You might contaminate it and lead me to write things like, and I quote, "They will deal with the most important issues dealt with through their plan of the day." Say what, now?

And my lab partner doesn't know how to add percentages together to get a total percent. She feels the need to call me and whine about how she doesn't know how to do that part. She wants to ask the professor.

Ow. My head hurts.

I've just realized I haven't posted my latest mani yet. Not that anybody really cares, but it keeps me amused. When the snow is up to your earlobes, it doesn't take much, let me tell you. Hey, no giggling. I can bloody well hear you!

No pedi yet as I've gotten lazy, nobody sees my toes anyway, and karate-ka don't really care about how they look. I hope.

Maybe I should make an appointment...

Well, I'm proud to say I put my reading week to good use!

No, not reading.


Actually finished two - TWO - gamecube games: Paper Mario and Luigi's Mansion. That brings my total up to three games ever finished! In like 5 years. Whatevs! I did it, teehee!

Also spent some time drooling over the Wii. I totally kicked citrusboy's ass is a racing game. Obviously this is the console for me. Submit all donations to the cause at winnipeg_damsel@hotmail.com.

So we, citrusboy and I that is, decided to treat ourselves on Valentine's Day and thus we bought some very sticky, very gooey, very yummy Valentine's cupcakes.

Voila:
Now, as citrusboy pointed out, the heart just happens to say I'm your's. Is there ever an acceptable reason for writing I'm your's? Ever? Me thinks not. I think the bakery Chiquita was a teeny bit, um, overzealous in her application of the grammar rules. Wait! That's sexist! Maybe it was a guy...

On second thought, maybe not.
Which is my favourite Valentine of all time, by the way... How romantic!

BRRRRRRRRRRRR...*







*Holy shit, it's cold.

-50C you say?

Snow Day, I say! PA day! Wind Chill day! Whatever day, I'm not moving an inch away from home.

Speaking of, I almost got frost bite 2 days in a row now. Of course, we were stupid enough to have dinner reservations in -40C weather, but seriously?

Bundled up so that only my eyeballs were showing and my toes still managed to almost fall off after being out for only 5 minutes. Wow, did it ever hurt when they started to defrost. It was like a tractor had run over my feet! Ouch!

I just realized we have to go out for dinner tonight too! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Good bye, toes. It's been nice knowing you.

Okay Liv, You Axed For It....

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Tummy scar: moles removed

2. WHAT DOES YOUR CEL-PHONE LOOK LIKE?
MotoQ, I heart you!

3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
Pop, I guess. Is that what they're calling it, these days?

4. WHAT EXACT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Nobody remembers. How sad. And pathetic.

5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To live forever

6. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Being 100 lbs

7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED "POSSESSION"?
Citrusboy. Is he a "possession"? No? Okay, um... Cats without Shame? Still no? Um... MY PVR!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FRAGRANCE OR SCENT?
Oooo, there's sooo many! Coconut.

9. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
In crowds. I want everybody the hell away from me!

10. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Naw

11. WHO DO YOU TAKE AFTER? YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER?
Hmm. I think it's a good mix of both. And when I say good mix, I don't actually mean good. All the bad traits got inherited.

12. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Clean? Short? I dunno...

13. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO / WHERE WERE YOU PROPOSED TO?
On a romantic beach walk / at home on Christmas Eve

14. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Err, coffee if I must.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Definitely hot peppers and pineapple. Oh gawd, I'm drooling already!

16. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
SUSHI! Sashimi! Teriyaki! Anything I could get my hands on that's Japanese, really.

17. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE REALLY, REALLY MAD?
Well, citrusboy, of course.

18. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
Yes. Oh you want a list? Polish. Happy now?

19. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT EVER YOU REMEMBER SOMEONE GAVE YOU?
A Care Bear magnet. It was awesome.

20. NUTTY, SALTY, SWEET, BITTER, SAUCY OR SPICY?
Oh, precious precious salt, how do I love thee? A little more than spicy and sweet, indeed.

21. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Uh, get in touch with a "hey, YO!"

22. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE LUCKY NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
8

23. BLONDES (BETTY), REDHEADS (CHERRY) OR BRUNETTES (VERONICA)?
Brunettes

24. WHAT NUMBERS DO YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
uh, 204-287-7433. Call it. Go on, you'll laugh - at my sad life, but you'll laugh. I promise you.

25. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
People. Bad grammar. People that malign the English language as we know it. Yeah, people that use bad grammar. Especially, "Your annoying", "Your stupid", "Your an idiot", "Your mama taught you no grammar". Oh wait, that one's right.

26. HAS ANYONE EVER SPIT ON YOU?
um.... no?

27. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Kitties without homes.

28. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
Walk-in Clinic.

29. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PRANK CALL?
I would think I have, but none come to mind at the moment.

30. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Placing an order for bath products. Oh yeah, and skipping class.

31. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
um... liposuction my... everything? Actually there's this new thing where they give you a shot and everything just melts away. Yeah, I would do that if I had an extra $2000 somewhere...

32. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
On pain of death from SOMEBODY....

33. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
How cute I am. *barf*

34. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
OMG. Um, go silently into that cruel night?

35. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY / CHRISTMAS?
You can look here if you have nothing better to do...

36. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
None? It will be my punishment to be infertile and want kids, I just know it. Watch and see.

37. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope

38. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Not really. I got my biggest wish.

39. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
Pinky

40. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Uh, over some stupid TV show. Don't even know which one, I watch so much frigging television.

41. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not in the least. And neither does anyone else.

42. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ew, lunch meat. Does prosciutto count? I love me some good, fatty Italian prosciutto!

43. ANY BAD HABITS?
Interrupting, apparently.

44. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING CD YOU OWN?
I don't think I own any NKOTB on CD, so that's a relief. But I think the first CD I ever bought was Color Me Bad, so that's gotta be pretty embarrassing.

45. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Huh. I don't know. I'm pretty annoying.

46. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Yes. You don't have to be beautiful (or rich - why oh why is there a Prince song running through my head???) but at least pull yourself together, man!

47. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Kickboxing. Citrusboy eggs me on on purpose too, so I'll punch him that much harder...

48. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
Mississauga

49. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
No at all

50. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Stuffed teddy bear. Still have it, too.

51. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Me? Never!

52. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
Yes. And I needed everybody to get the HELL away from me.

53. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A POTENTIAL FRIEND / MATE?
Good heart. I can always tell, so don't think you can fool me, people! Well, only once and I'm still pissed off about that!

54. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Jo, Jojo and others that I will not mention because I would have to explain and I just plain don't want to.

55. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
My shoes don't tie, either.

56. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?
Ben and Jerry's Half Baked. Oh gawd, how I lust for you!

57. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLORS?
Hmm. Sky blue? Pink?

58. WHAT ARE YOU READING?
You Are What You Eat by Dr Gillian McKeith

59. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Everybody!

60. DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN FIVE WORDS OR LESS FOR A JOB INTERVIEW / TO YOUR FRIENDS:
team player, good communicator, fabulous interpersonal skills, highly motivated, problem-solver/ lazy, easy-going, stubborn (does that even make sense???), argumentative, good heart

61. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Cow Kitty snoring on my keyboard. Yes, he snores. I've even taped it. And if I wasn't too lazy to figure out how to upload it, I would.

62. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Crab salad.

63. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
citrusboy

64. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN ANOTHER PERSON?
How fat they are. Seriously. I'm obsessed and I have a major problem. *sigh*

65. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Krakow

66. BIGGEST FEARS / SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
Dying. I didn't die, but it is my biggest fear. Well, let's amend that. Dying and never seeing citrusboy again. I live in absolute dread of this.

67. FAVOURITE DRINKS?
Perrier, nettle tea, extra-dirty gin martini

68. FAVOURITE JOKE?
Two beavers were swimming upstream, and all of a sudden one rams his head into something in the water. "Dam!" he says. Lame, I know, but SO funny. Well, to me, anyway.

69. FAVOURITE SPORT / ACTIVITIES?
Kickboxing

70. YOUR HAIR COLOUR?
Born-again brown.

71. YOUR EYE COLOUR?
Brown. Not born-again. Just brown.

72. WEIGHT / HEIGHT
Haha, nice try / 5'2

73. SIBLINGS?
Nope

74. FAVOURITE MONTH?
Um... If I lived in CALIFORNIA, I'd say December. But since I don't, I'm going with July. For no reason whatsoever.

75. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
OMG, do I LOVE sushi. If I was forced to eat sushi at every meal until I died, boy would I pray for a long life.

76. LAST THING YOU WATCHED
Family Guy

77. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR
Christmas Eve

78. ARE YOU INTROVERTED OR EXTROVERTED?
Definitely introverted. And extroverted. A nice mix of both, methinks.

79. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON / SEASONING?
Summer / tarragon

80. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships. I don't do one night stands.

81. WHO DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE OR WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUILTY PLEASURE?
Dr Laura. Oh, did I say that out loud? She amuses me so.

82. FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
erm... I have SexyBack stuck in my head, so I'm going with that...

83. LAKE OR OCEAN?
Ocean. :P to SOME people...

84. BIGGEST TURNOFF?
People

85. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIENDS:
Anywhere form 1999 (apparently) to 2006

86. LAST KISS:
This morning. Bad breath and all.

87. LAST TEXT YOU RECEIVED:
NH: WTF was THAT on Gilmore Girls. GG stinks. I'm annoyed.

88. LAST TIME YOU HURT YOURSELF:
I cut myself with my pretty new knife. Actually, that's not even true! Weird. I thought it was. Big ass paper cut from a package of gum. GUM, people, gum. How stupid.

89. WHERE ARE YOU WORKING / WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING:
Clothing store, maaaybe once a month for like 4 hours / lazy lady of leisure who lunches. ON SUSHI.

90. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY:
Get-togethers at Lime Rickey's. Yeah, that's a good one.

91. SCHOOLS YOU WENT TO:
Pocock, University of Toronto, Seneca College, University of Manitoba

92. WHERE ARE YOU NOW:
In hell.

93. WHERE WILL YOU BE IN FIVE YEARS:
Toronto or Vancouver. Leaning towards TO, of course.

94. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING:
Flannel pants and a t shirt. Did I mention I'm skipping school?

95. VENT ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT HERE:
Why does my favourite sushi place have such stupid hours? Frankly, why do all the restaurants in this god-forsaken town have stupid hours. And I mean STUPID. What the hell is 11:30-2 and 5:30-9. UGH.

96. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE MOVIE?
I haven't seen anything good lately, so I'm going with... Dirty Dancing.

97. WHAT DID YOU DREAM ABOUT LAST NIGHT:
That citrusboy didn't want to marry me. I mean, we were unmarried and he wasn't planning on it anytime this century. So weird.

98. WHEN WAS YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT HAPPENED:
I'm still in it.

99. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK / PLAN ON GETTING DRUNK SOON?:
New Years / no, I'm on a detox/health kick for at least another 2 months.

100. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE STUPID SURVEY QUESTIONS?
Well, why the hell not? I had to do it. So, if I had to do it... you know the rest.

Okay, seriously? WTF?!?

So I wander into the Stats Lab to finish my stats assignment.

I sit down at a computer and insert my jump drive. The whole computer freezes and is on the verge of a nuclear meltdown. Incidentally, this same computer worked for me yesterday just fine.

I go to another computer. It doesn't have adobe installed. I can't open my assignment without adobe.

I go to another computer and, no, third time is not a charm. This one refuses to send my emails.

I go to a fourth computer and finally: the jump drive works, adobe is installed, emails are going off, and I can do my assignment.

Least of all, of course, I look like a complete moron jumping from computer to computer.

What the fuck. Honestly.

Hmm. A nerd, but only 52% nerd!

I got this from NH's Facebook entry. And I'm going to slap it up here instead of making a well thought out post. Because I'm lazy. Yes, that lazy.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 9

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
() Anger Management
()50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total so far: 15

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp

Total so far: 25

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total so far: 33

(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
(x ) Robots

Total so far: 39

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG - only the original

Total so far: 45

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber

Total so far: 49

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
() Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards

Total so far: 54

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 60

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total so far: 68

() Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
() ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 72

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
() Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total so far: 82

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 93

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street - only the original
() Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( x) The 40-year-old Virgin

Total so far: 95

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 101

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
( ) Three

Total so Far: 101

( ) The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard

Total so far: 104

( ) High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
() Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
() Waterworld

Total so far: 107

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

Total so far: 111

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 117

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Total so far: 125

But 'd like to amend the stipulations:
Under 85, and you've been living under a rock
Between 85 and 100 and you're the average North American movie goer
Over 100 and you may like movies a little too much
Between 220 and 239 and you've seen some really crap movies in your lifetime.

So I'm at the gym the other day, working out on some of the Kaiser machines. I get off the biceps machine and start to move towards the triceps machine, when all of a sudden some horizontally-challenged "lady", who is lumbering her way off the thigh machine, is all "Excuse me, but I'm using that!"

Really? You are? You haven't even managed to make it off the first machine and now you're commandeering the next one? Seriously? What do you even say to people like that?

So I'm thinking: okay fine, maybe this is her last machine and she's in a hurry and needs to leave.

But no. Then she goes to wipe down her machine and steps in front of me (on purpose, I can only assume; no one can can truly be this annoying, can they?) and sloooooowly reaches for the bottle and towel. She stands there for a good 30 seconds (which may not seem long, but really is when you want to smack somebody across the head), completely blocking my path to any other machines.

After that, she climbs on the leg press, and starts a leisurely conversation with someone else about how, after Christmas, she likes to get out for some light exercise before spring. Lady, what you need is to stop chugging the doughnuts and start living at the gym. Light exercise. Good god, woman!

Finally I'm just so annoyed with this crazy woman, I have to leave. I go into the ladies' change room, and there are little boys running around all over it. And not little, little boys, but like 5 or 6 years old. Oy.

Now, I don't really care if these boys see my goodies, I guess. But I swear, if a mother ever comes up to me and says that I have to cover up because her son is in the room, I think my head may just explode. The gym has family change rooms. I've seen them.

Moral of the story: well, I never did get on that triceps machine because I was so busy seething at the "lady" that I completely forgot about it. So next time, I should just smack her and get it over with? Is that really the moral here? I'm good with that!

It's -43oC.

Right now.

Have you ever?

Well.

First day of school and I've already managed to embarress myself. This is a new record. Usually it takes at least three or four days before I do/say something really dumb.

So I'm sitting in biochem class, listening to somebody who is probably the worst professor ever (now I know people say that all the time, but believe me - I do not say it lightly). And, of course, I'm sitting in the first row in order to alleviate any temptation that may go into wanting to MSN/email/google someone/anyone because the pentose phosphate pathway is that exciting.

Worst-Professor-on-the-Face-of-This-Snowy-Earth, who is now lecturing in front of me about two millimeters away from my safety bubble of personal space, asks if we had seen a particular shorthand symbol (deH2Ogenation, if you must know) before in biochem 1. And, of course, he looks right at me for the answer. I say no, because, well, no I've never seen that before in my life, mildly clever as it is.

And he's all: NOOOOOOOOOOO?!?

And the rest of the class is all: YEEEES WEEE HAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And he looks at me and says: What the hell's the matter with you? Never went to class?

Well, as a matter of fact, I never DID go to class. I eventually got advanced standing in biochem 1 (not that I ever went to class anyhow) and so I ended up dropping it. Take THAT, buddy!

Not that you can defend yourself in the middle of a lecture on some crazy pathway.

And? His favourite shorthand: NRG.

Gawd help me!