So I'm a tad late with my Halloween story. Whatever. You'll forgive me right? If only because I live in this hell-hole and you have the deepest sympathy for me, right? Right. Let's carry on.
On the 27th, citrusboy and I were invited to a Halloween social. I know what you're thinking: Awesome! Nope, not awesome, because let me explain something to you about Winnipeg Socials. It's not the usual dinner-dance thingy where you stuff your face, booze it up, dance till 3am, then throw up in the cab on your way home. Not personal experience, by the way, but I've heard stories. Don't laugh - it's true.
Winnipeg Socials are thrown in order to pay for a couple's wedding. Say what? I said. You go, pay the entrance fee, pay for your booze, no or almost no food is served (does kielbasa on a toothpick count?), are forced to participate in raffles and contests (ie. "donate" more money to the cause - the cause being some couple you've never clapped eyes on before), and then go home properly sober.
To say the least, I find this offensive. If you can't afford the lobster dinner for 500, for God's sakes, get the freakin' chicken dinner for 150. I mean, really. Why do you think I should pay for your lobster? What? I didn't quite hear you. Oh, because that's how it's done here. I see. Well, that ain't how it's done in my mind. In my opinion, you get what you can afford and that's it.
I suppose people will argue that they go to these socials to have a good time at a party, but I can do the same thing at my own home with my own booze and my own friends. Without paying for some lobster that, after all, I'm never going to get to eat anyway.
On the 28th, we got invited to a real Halloween party: booze it up, then stumble home.
Citrusboy and I dressed up as Caesar and Cleopatra (respectively, of course - though I would like to see citrusboy put on those crazy fake eyelashes of mine).
There were prizes to be had, but they were not had by us. The Candy Corn won best costume, I think. And it was a pretty awesome outfit, though I'm still not sure what Candy Corn is. Suffice to say, she looked like an Oompa-Loompa (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, not Willy Wonka). Oh my God, I just looked it up: she totally looked like a Candy Corn.
Oh, and apparently cabs are not to be found in Winnipeg on Halloween night. Either a busy signal or a "we're out of cabs asshole" greeted us as we tried to make our way home.
Where have I found myself, where there are no cabs and I must pay for lobster I don't even get to eat?
Heave big, huge, gigantic, enormous, hefty, immeasurably immense sigh and bury myself back in my bedsheets, never to emerge until I'm safely back in Toronto.
1 comment:
Candy Corn is sugar flavoured and waxy in texture. It's highly addictive.
Post a Comment