So I bought one of those liquidy Bonne Bell Vita Gloss chapstick thingies in sheer raspberry from Shoppers, because, one, a girl can never have enough lip gloss and, two, it had extra Shoppers Points.
I open the package and the damn thing explodes everywhere. E-X-P-L-O-D-E-S. Sheer raspberry gloss all over the counter and my hands. Sheer, sticky-won't-come-off-with-soap-only turpentine raspberry gloss all over my hands. And me? I have to catch the bus in, like, one minute.
I stomp over to Shoppers and say: What the fuck is this shit you're selling me? And the stupid, prissy, smart-ass Shoppers Cosmetics Counter whore with her nose in the air has the gall, the nerve, the asshatness to ask me if I have my receipt.
Yeah, bitch. I have my receipt. And you know where I'm putting it next?
No, you dumbass, I don't have my receipt. Why the hell would I keep a receipt for a $5 lip gloss that I was assuming, quite rightly in my opinion, wasn't going to explode in my face when I tried to take it out of the package.
The SPSSCC whore just stares at me. Sorry, can't do anything for you.
Look crazy, why would I lie about a receipt and a lip gloss. She's all: Nope. I'm all: That's it? She's all: Yeah. That's it.
So I guess now I have to write an email to Shoppers. Let's see if they don't give a rat's bony ass about their customers either.
I open the package and the damn thing explodes everywhere. E-X-P-L-O-D-E-S. Sheer raspberry gloss all over the counter and my hands. Sheer, sticky-won't-come-off-with-soap-only turpentine raspberry gloss all over my hands. And me? I have to catch the bus in, like, one minute.
I stomp over to Shoppers and say: What the fuck is this shit you're selling me? And the stupid, prissy, smart-ass Shoppers Cosmetics Counter whore with her nose in the air has the gall, the nerve, the asshatness to ask me if I have my receipt.
Yeah, bitch. I have my receipt. And you know where I'm putting it next?
No, you dumbass, I don't have my receipt. Why the hell would I keep a receipt for a $5 lip gloss that I was assuming, quite rightly in my opinion, wasn't going to explode in my face when I tried to take it out of the package.
The SPSSCC whore just stares at me. Sorry, can't do anything for you.
Look crazy, why would I lie about a receipt and a lip gloss. She's all: Nope. I'm all: That's it? She's all: Yeah. That's it.
So I guess now I have to write an email to Shoppers. Let's see if they don't give a rat's bony ass about their customers either.
3 comments:
Dude that sucks. Maybe Bonne Bell will do something for you. If you call the 1-800 number and complain they will probably send you coupons. Most companies do.
That's why I keep all my receipts in a shoebox for a year heh.
That and I'm obsessively anal when it comes to money.
I usually keep most of my reciepts - but one for lip gloss? Come on, who'd a thunk it?
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