Okay, seriously? WTF?!?

So I wander into the Stats Lab to finish my stats assignment.

I sit down at a computer and insert my jump drive. The whole computer freezes and is on the verge of a nuclear meltdown. Incidentally, this same computer worked for me yesterday just fine.

I go to another computer. It doesn't have adobe installed. I can't open my assignment without adobe.

I go to another computer and, no, third time is not a charm. This one refuses to send my emails.

I go to a fourth computer and finally: the jump drive works, adobe is installed, emails are going off, and I can do my assignment.

Least of all, of course, I look like a complete moron jumping from computer to computer.

What the fuck. Honestly.

Hmm. A nerd, but only 52% nerd!

I got this from NH's Facebook entry. And I'm going to slap it up here instead of making a well thought out post. Because I'm lazy. Yes, that lazy.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 9

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
() Anger Management
()50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total so far: 15

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp

Total so far: 25

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total so far: 33

(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
(x ) Robots

Total so far: 39

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG - only the original

Total so far: 45

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber

Total so far: 49

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
() Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards

Total so far: 54

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 60

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total so far: 68

() Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
() ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 72

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
() Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total so far: 82

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 93

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street - only the original
() Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( x) The 40-year-old Virgin

Total so far: 95

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 101

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
( ) Three

Total so Far: 101

( ) The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard

Total so far: 104

( ) High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
() Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
() Waterworld

Total so far: 107

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

Total so far: 111

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 117

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Total so far: 125

But 'd like to amend the stipulations:
Under 85, and you've been living under a rock
Between 85 and 100 and you're the average North American movie goer
Over 100 and you may like movies a little too much
Between 220 and 239 and you've seen some really crap movies in your lifetime.

So I'm at the gym the other day, working out on some of the Kaiser machines. I get off the biceps machine and start to move towards the triceps machine, when all of a sudden some horizontally-challenged "lady", who is lumbering her way off the thigh machine, is all "Excuse me, but I'm using that!"

Really? You are? You haven't even managed to make it off the first machine and now you're commandeering the next one? Seriously? What do you even say to people like that?

So I'm thinking: okay fine, maybe this is her last machine and she's in a hurry and needs to leave.

But no. Then she goes to wipe down her machine and steps in front of me (on purpose, I can only assume; no one can can truly be this annoying, can they?) and sloooooowly reaches for the bottle and towel. She stands there for a good 30 seconds (which may not seem long, but really is when you want to smack somebody across the head), completely blocking my path to any other machines.

After that, she climbs on the leg press, and starts a leisurely conversation with someone else about how, after Christmas, she likes to get out for some light exercise before spring. Lady, what you need is to stop chugging the doughnuts and start living at the gym. Light exercise. Good god, woman!

Finally I'm just so annoyed with this crazy woman, I have to leave. I go into the ladies' change room, and there are little boys running around all over it. And not little, little boys, but like 5 or 6 years old. Oy.

Now, I don't really care if these boys see my goodies, I guess. But I swear, if a mother ever comes up to me and says that I have to cover up because her son is in the room, I think my head may just explode. The gym has family change rooms. I've seen them.

Moral of the story: well, I never did get on that triceps machine because I was so busy seething at the "lady" that I completely forgot about it. So next time, I should just smack her and get it over with? Is that really the moral here? I'm good with that!

It's -43oC.

Right now.

Have you ever?

Well.

First day of school and I've already managed to embarress myself. This is a new record. Usually it takes at least three or four days before I do/say something really dumb.

So I'm sitting in biochem class, listening to somebody who is probably the worst professor ever (now I know people say that all the time, but believe me - I do not say it lightly). And, of course, I'm sitting in the first row in order to alleviate any temptation that may go into wanting to MSN/email/google someone/anyone because the pentose phosphate pathway is that exciting.

Worst-Professor-on-the-Face-of-This-Snowy-Earth, who is now lecturing in front of me about two millimeters away from my safety bubble of personal space, asks if we had seen a particular shorthand symbol (deH2Ogenation, if you must know) before in biochem 1. And, of course, he looks right at me for the answer. I say no, because, well, no I've never seen that before in my life, mildly clever as it is.

And he's all: NOOOOOOOOOOO?!?

And the rest of the class is all: YEEEES WEEE HAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And he looks at me and says: What the hell's the matter with you? Never went to class?

Well, as a matter of fact, I never DID go to class. I eventually got advanced standing in biochem 1 (not that I ever went to class anyhow) and so I ended up dropping it. Take THAT, buddy!

Not that you can defend yourself in the middle of a lecture on some crazy pathway.

And? His favourite shorthand: NRG.

Gawd help me!