One More Year, Winnipeg!

I actually did it! I am going to be a Registered Dietitian!!! Apparently I did enough weird dietetics stuff that they decided to accept me.

I am in total shock. I had something else already planned in case I didn't receive the internship - I swear, I was already packed, on a plane, and doing that other thing - all in my head. I was so out of here, that's how much I didn't think I would get one.

So let me tell you how all this went down - and it's not a pretty picture.

On Monday, March 17th, all applicants across Canada found out if they received the internship position of their choice. However, due to a "glitch" in Dietitians of Canada's "computer system", everybody received an email, regardless of whether they were offered a position or not, stating the following:

The First Round internship selection process round has been completed.

Unfortunately, you have not been offered a position.

Complete with the underscore on the "not", as if us possible future dietitians don't quite know how to read.

So, of course, we're all crying into our 7am coffee, calling each other, and screaming WHAT THE FUCK???

Then, two hours later, another email arrives, just as our collective crying jag starts to subside. This one states:

The First Round of this internship selection process has been completed.

You have been offered a position in the following program:
[Lists programs]

So now we're all: Well, which one is right??? We log into the acceptance website and it seems that the last one is correct.

Oooookay.... SO I GOT ACCEPTED! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Then the next day, we got a third email. This one didn't have so much of a hint of an apology for the trauma that was caused last morning (not to mention grammatically painful):

Congratulations on being offered an internship position. Due to the computer glitch yesterday that sent out an email to all applicants stating they were unsuccessful which was then followed by another email to successful applicants; we still have some successful applicants who have not gone into the system to accept or decline their offer. If you have already entered the system and confirmed your offer; thank you. If you have not yet accepted or declined the offer, please be reminded that you only have until 5 PM (ET) today to do so. Failure to do so will eliminate you from this selection process round.

Apparently, every year, they manage to screw something up. Guess they can't just live and learn.

But anyhow, I received an internship, which means one more year in Winnipeg, people! Aren't you thrilled?!? I know citrusboy is! Is that sarcasm? I'll never tell!

The beginning of the end

Long time no write.

I have been busy busy busy (read: lazy lazy lazy) with putting together my applications for dietetic internship: resumes, cover letters, references, transcripts, having to hunt down and annihilate the general office about why I didn't get my GPA letter in time etc. It's been a blast so much so that if I don't get an internship this year I may seriously consider never applying again, throwing in the towel on the RD, and just whiling away my life in some dead-end Nutrition Plus Store job.

600 applicants. 140 spots. Only allowed to apply to 3 spots.

I need to seriously think about what it is I'm going to do, when on March 16th I get an email stating:

Dear Ms Damsel,

Hahahahhahahahahha.
Only ONE YEAR of volunteering???
Hahahahahahahhahah.
No internship for you!

We do NOT care that you have to fend for yourself in this cold, cruel world.
We do NOT care that you have to support yourself.
We do NOT care that your parents aren't putting you through school.
We do NOT care that your parents aren't ponying up for everything and all you [do not] have to do is sit on your be-hind, volunteering day and night.
We just plain and simple do not give a shit.

Yours truly,
Dietetic Internship

P.S. Have a nice life. Try again next year. Seriously.

Mind you, most of this is my fault and may have something to do with me realizing somewhere around this past September that being an RD is not all fun and games. It doesn't just mean graduating with a 2.0 GPA and there you go. It actually means killing yourself volunteering everywhere you can possibly volunteer (preferably with a dietitian (hahahhaha)) while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and apparently having a job (preferably with a dietitian (hahahhaha)) so you don't starve in the gutter.

Well, I'm 0 for 0. With a GPA of 3.5, only about a year's worth of volunteering, and a job in a clothing store, I might as well see how much Vita Health pays its cashiers.

P.S. No, I did not even bother applying to Pharmacy this year, as we're not going to be able to stay in Winnipeg for another four years anyway. So no future post about how I can't write an essay is forthcoming.

And by the way, what the hell is a Christmas Orange? It's called a CLEMENTINE, people!!!

That is all.

What. The Hell. Is WRONG. With. Winnipeg Drivers?!?!

Really, I have never encountered such stupidity, such slowness, such an unbelievably large grouping of people that should not have their licenses. Ever. AND I ALMOST DIDN'T GET MINE!

Did you know that:

*A speed limit of 80 km/h actually means 60 km/h?
*A speed limit of 60 km/h actually means 40 km/h?
*The only exception to the 2 above points is when it's raining or snowing? That in those conditions you should always exceed the speed limit by 20 km/h?
*The left lane is the slow lane?
*You should never drive in the right lane?
*After a light turns green, you should always wait a full 30 seconds before stepping on the gas?
*You should brake whenever you feel like it, especially when there is nothing in front of you?
*You should run red lights whenever possible?
*You should always try to race a smart car? Even when you're driving a golf cart?

Well. Now I know.

I guess there's just not enough room in the Driver's Handbook for everything.

Over the long weekend, we drove down (up? across?) to Kenora for their Harbourfest (pretty lame, but what do you want from a town of 16500 people?) in a relay of 8 smart cars.
Hee, was that ever fun!

We got free lunch too (even if it was dirty bird!) because the owner is a smart owner as well.

All I can say is:
Kenora: 500km there and back.
1 tank of gas.
$20.
Gotta love it!

So, as you may or may not know, I let my driver's license expire. Dumbass move, but I'm a little bit of a dumbass as it is.

I went with my already-3-year-expired license (which was an Ontario G2 license, by the way) to MPI to try to get it renewed. The guy decides I need to prove I'm a Manitoba resident, so the only thing that will satisfy him is a copy of our apartment lease!!!

Fine. I go get it and go back to MPI. Then, after another 10 minutes, he finally realizes the Ontario license is expired! DANG! I was so so very close to getting away with it!

Then I'm told I will have to do the written part, or the 365, or whatever the hell they call it now, again. Guh. And then a driver's test. Double guh.

So the next day, I go to the Driver's Testing Centre to write my 365, where they hand me a pen and a sheet of paper. I was flabbergasted. Gob-smacked. Just plain old speechless. So I says to the lady: "Dontcha have computers for these things?" Apparently not. They're coming in several more years. Now, when I was in Ontario and 16 (which was like 500 years ago) and I "wrote" my 365, it was a multiple choice computer test. Wow. WOW. Wowzers.

Anyhow, I got 4 wrong out of an allowable 6, so yay for me. I guess that's alright after just glancing at the driver's handbook the night before. The really stupid part was that there were 2 questions about fuel efficiency, which I got wrong - of course. Fuel efficiency?? Are you kidding me??? On a driver's knowledge of the-rules-of-the-road test?? BLEH! Who cares what the percentage of more fuel burned is when you go 20km/h over the speed limit! I sure don't! Also? I had a question asking me what colour order the lights were in, from top to bottom on a traffic light. Now that's my kind of question! And for all you people who may not think so, I did actually get that one right.

So because I already actually had a license, expired or otherwise, I could book my road test right away without the how-ever long waiting period.

So Monday rolls around and my test is for 7:45 in the morning. Do they even open that early?? Crazy! First, I get there and it turns out I've forgotten to bring my license with me! My gawd, I am such a moron most of the time. The guy gives me 10 minutes to go get it and come back. I make it back with 2 minutes to spare. Heh.

So I go through my driving test, through no less then 349 residential streets, all with at least 9207 parked cars on the side. Guh. And for the parallel park? The car is 2.5 meters long. The space was 7.5 meters long. The guy just let me barely back in, then he was all "whatever, good enough, let's go," without letting me straighten out. Okay buddy, fine with me!

So. The maximum number of points before you fail: 50. The number of points Winnipeg Damsel got: 50. As if and whatever. Apparently I don't signal and check properly before moving around parked cars. Look Winnipeg: I've seen the drivers you give licenses to, so STICK IT IN YOUR &^$&*! And rotate. And then smoke it.

Anyhow, you are now looking at a fully-licensed (not any of this graduated licensing bullshit!) Damsel. Mwahahahaha. Ahem. Anyhoo...

So I'm finally free of the crunch of summer school - 4 classes in 1.5 months! Whoo!
Did Stats in a little over 3 weeks and 3 Nutrition course in about 6 weeks.

Got my first choice for my practicum placement next year and will also be taking 6 courses in September, as well as applying for my dietetics internship! Thus, my head will probably spin of my neck next year, right up until I graduate.

Stuff has happened but nothing too exciting. I will post as I think of these things.

I worked at the Red River Ex this year for 5 days over at the Green Kitchen, where everything is made from plant products. That was pretty interesting, but I could see most Manitobans just did not care.

Since I was already there, citrusboy came by to visit a couple of times. We played some games, ate some seriously crap yet yummy food, and wandered around.

At one point, I came across a Sri Lanken food stand that promised me a beef patty. When you hear the words beef patty. you think of this:
Right?

Well, I got this:
Not so good. An actual beef patty. Like you find in a burger. I was speechless. Mind you, the two behind the counter were no geniuses. They probably realized that there were actual beef patties in the freezer days later! I even heard them tell someone that they had no more of a particular item WHILE the person was pointing at said item. WOW.

So we just stuffed the "beef patty" into citrusboy's meat and cheese burger (actual meat and cheese - SHOCK!)
and he claims it was super good.
Of course, no EX visit is complete without some rain, but we did see a rainbow on our way out.
Of course, it started to clear up as soon as we decided to leave!

OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING.

Look at the date, people. And send snowshoes.

So citrusboy and I spent all day trying to beat the computer at Wii Tennis.

Now, not only do I have Wii Elbow, I also have Wii Arm and Wii Shoulder.

Can you say: sad, sad couch damsel?

Welcome to Winnipeg: Home of Men with Large Dongs.

Last weekend citrusboy and I went out for sushi (as was promised to me) and we happened to get an itemized bill.

I thought I would share with you all the extent to which we are total and utter pig-os.

Just in case you couldn't count: that's 24 items between the two of us, 9 of which are rolls containing 6 pieces each (that's 54 pieces), 10 of which are nigiri and sashimi (so that's at least another 20 pieces), and 5 of which are tempura appetizers.

To our defense: it was all you can eat. So we ate until we could eat no more.

Oink.

You know those cell phone charms you get out of, like, vending machines?

Well, I got a Hello Kitty one and I think she has a little bit of an attitude. Especially for someone who resides in a Taco Bell.