Over the long weekend, we drove down (up? across?) to Kenora for their Harbourfest (pretty lame, but what do you want from a town of 16500 people?) in a relay of 8 smart cars.
Hee, was that ever fun!

We got free lunch too (even if it was dirty bird!) because the owner is a smart owner as well.

All I can say is:
Kenora: 500km there and back.
1 tank of gas.
$20.
Gotta love it!

So, as you may or may not know, I let my driver's license expire. Dumbass move, but I'm a little bit of a dumbass as it is.

I went with my already-3-year-expired license (which was an Ontario G2 license, by the way) to MPI to try to get it renewed. The guy decides I need to prove I'm a Manitoba resident, so the only thing that will satisfy him is a copy of our apartment lease!!!

Fine. I go get it and go back to MPI. Then, after another 10 minutes, he finally realizes the Ontario license is expired! DANG! I was so so very close to getting away with it!

Then I'm told I will have to do the written part, or the 365, or whatever the hell they call it now, again. Guh. And then a driver's test. Double guh.

So the next day, I go to the Driver's Testing Centre to write my 365, where they hand me a pen and a sheet of paper. I was flabbergasted. Gob-smacked. Just plain old speechless. So I says to the lady: "Dontcha have computers for these things?" Apparently not. They're coming in several more years. Now, when I was in Ontario and 16 (which was like 500 years ago) and I "wrote" my 365, it was a multiple choice computer test. Wow. WOW. Wowzers.

Anyhow, I got 4 wrong out of an allowable 6, so yay for me. I guess that's alright after just glancing at the driver's handbook the night before. The really stupid part was that there were 2 questions about fuel efficiency, which I got wrong - of course. Fuel efficiency?? Are you kidding me??? On a driver's knowledge of the-rules-of-the-road test?? BLEH! Who cares what the percentage of more fuel burned is when you go 20km/h over the speed limit! I sure don't! Also? I had a question asking me what colour order the lights were in, from top to bottom on a traffic light. Now that's my kind of question! And for all you people who may not think so, I did actually get that one right.

So because I already actually had a license, expired or otherwise, I could book my road test right away without the how-ever long waiting period.

So Monday rolls around and my test is for 7:45 in the morning. Do they even open that early?? Crazy! First, I get there and it turns out I've forgotten to bring my license with me! My gawd, I am such a moron most of the time. The guy gives me 10 minutes to go get it and come back. I make it back with 2 minutes to spare. Heh.

So I go through my driving test, through no less then 349 residential streets, all with at least 9207 parked cars on the side. Guh. And for the parallel park? The car is 2.5 meters long. The space was 7.5 meters long. The guy just let me barely back in, then he was all "whatever, good enough, let's go," without letting me straighten out. Okay buddy, fine with me!

So. The maximum number of points before you fail: 50. The number of points Winnipeg Damsel got: 50. As if and whatever. Apparently I don't signal and check properly before moving around parked cars. Look Winnipeg: I've seen the drivers you give licenses to, so STICK IT IN YOUR &^$&*! And rotate. And then smoke it.

Anyhow, you are now looking at a fully-licensed (not any of this graduated licensing bullshit!) Damsel. Mwahahahaha. Ahem. Anyhoo...

So I'm finally free of the crunch of summer school - 4 classes in 1.5 months! Whoo!
Did Stats in a little over 3 weeks and 3 Nutrition course in about 6 weeks.

Got my first choice for my practicum placement next year and will also be taking 6 courses in September, as well as applying for my dietetics internship! Thus, my head will probably spin of my neck next year, right up until I graduate.

Stuff has happened but nothing too exciting. I will post as I think of these things.

I worked at the Red River Ex this year for 5 days over at the Green Kitchen, where everything is made from plant products. That was pretty interesting, but I could see most Manitobans just did not care.

Since I was already there, citrusboy came by to visit a couple of times. We played some games, ate some seriously crap yet yummy food, and wandered around.

At one point, I came across a Sri Lanken food stand that promised me a beef patty. When you hear the words beef patty. you think of this:
Right?

Well, I got this:
Not so good. An actual beef patty. Like you find in a burger. I was speechless. Mind you, the two behind the counter were no geniuses. They probably realized that there were actual beef patties in the freezer days later! I even heard them tell someone that they had no more of a particular item WHILE the person was pointing at said item. WOW.

So we just stuffed the "beef patty" into citrusboy's meat and cheese burger (actual meat and cheese - SHOCK!)
and he claims it was super good.
Of course, no EX visit is complete without some rain, but we did see a rainbow on our way out.
Of course, it started to clear up as soon as we decided to leave!

OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING.

Look at the date, people. And send snowshoes.

So citrusboy and I spent all day trying to beat the computer at Wii Tennis.

Now, not only do I have Wii Elbow, I also have Wii Arm and Wii Shoulder.

Can you say: sad, sad couch damsel?

Welcome to Winnipeg: Home of Men with Large Dongs.

Last weekend citrusboy and I went out for sushi (as was promised to me) and we happened to get an itemized bill.

I thought I would share with you all the extent to which we are total and utter pig-os.

Just in case you couldn't count: that's 24 items between the two of us, 9 of which are rolls containing 6 pieces each (that's 54 pieces), 10 of which are nigiri and sashimi (so that's at least another 20 pieces), and 5 of which are tempura appetizers.

To our defense: it was all you can eat. So we ate until we could eat no more.

Oink.

You know those cell phone charms you get out of, like, vending machines?

Well, I got a Hello Kitty one and I think she has a little bit of an attitude. Especially for someone who resides in a Taco Bell.

Well, in one week I've managed to finish two Wii games: Trauma Center and Cooking Mama.

Trauma Center was pretty fun but easy enough to finish and definitely worth a rental.

Cooking Mama got boring really quickly as you do the same thing over and over again, but it was kind of amusing to see which recipe would pop up next. They even had sushi, which was exciting (for me anyhow) but my favourites were perogies and truffles (of course!).

Now I just need to work on finishing Super Paper Mario but I'm so slow. I die all the damned time. I need Super Life, that's what I need.

Finally.

I'm done exams and can stop ignoring people. And this blog (damn you, Facebook!).

Except now, I'll be ignoring people in favour of the Wii.

Nothing exciting has happened in Winnipeg lately, mostly because I've had my face in a textbook for about three weeks now so haven't had the chance to notice anything wild and crazy.

Except for the guy who horked up on my porch while Jen and I were trying to eat some sushi in silent bliss.

So, nothing has changed then, you say. Indeed.

Stranded... At the gym...
What shall I do?
What will they say Tuesday at school?

Gyyyym, can't you see that I'm a misery
Made a start, now we're apart
There's nothing left for me
Exercise has flown, all alone
I sit and wonder why whyyyyyyyyy oh why
You closed on Easter Monday,
Oh Gym....

So my Stats exam is on Friday they 13th.

What's the probability of that, I ask you?

According to Google Maps, this is the way to travel if you're in Winnipeg and you just happen to want to go to Krakow, Poland.

My personal favourite? Step #24. I'll be sure to get right on that...

Winnipeg, City of Public Defecation

See where I live, people?

And this is where, like, half of Winnipeg works too...

And why am I always staring at guys taking a shit in broad daylight?

Nails, Nails, Nails!

As I was getting this one done, we couldn't decide what it reminded us of - all of us were just sure it reminded us of something.

We finally decided these are the totally ultimate 80s toes:
And the not so 80s hands:

Wednesdays are kickboxing days.

This last particular Wednesday, right before kickboxing, I somehow managed to pull out the string/elastic thingy that holds one's pants up.

I spent the entire class trying to keep from exposing my ass to the rest of the participants as the instructor made us run around the gym, skip rope, and other things hazardous to my pants falling down.

I'm sure I looked like the complete fool that I felt...

A little Winnipeg bird emailed me some pictures of Friday's festivities. I hope you feel my pain.

Went to a party on Friday night. Drank two bottles of red wine. Woke up in pretty okay shape. Just a little stupid, that's all.

Turns out citrusboy was mixing beer with wine, so he woke up wrecked. Couldn't even move his head.

So he enlisted my help, along with Jen's, to go get him some Burger King to soothe the angry hangover beast.

Now, it's pretty warm in Winnipeg. Ten feet high snow caps are melting everywhere.

So Jen and I are sitting in the car, waiting to turn out of the Burger King parking lot and into the street. Her window is rolled down, oh, about one inch.

And apparently, unbeknown to us, there's a huge (I mean HUGE) puddle right next to our car.

Of course, cars are driving down the street, past us, and right into this huge puddle. Which then proceeds to throw up a wall of filthy, greasy, street water right through the one inch crack in the window and onto Jen and me. Twice.

So Jen's hair, Jen's face, Jen's glasses, Jen's jacket, and Jen's purse are plastered in nastiness. The ceiling of the car, the dash, and the seats are coated. My jacket and my pants are dirty. All we can do is stare at each other and laugh till it hurts. I mean, really? What else can you do? How does that happen? A one inch crack...

Somehow, the Burger King remained untouched. Not a single drop fell into the bag even though it was wide open. Luck of the drunk.

I woke up this morning to discover that my pee was red. A nice shade of blood red.

I panicked for a full ten minutes (and by panic, I mean run around in circles screaming in high pitch while my heart beats right out of my chest) before I realized I had eaten a whole whack of beets the night before.

I am such an idiot sometimes.

This again? Oh my gaw.

Give it up, stupid Winnipeg winter. It can't be -40°C forever!

Wait. What am I saying? It probably can. I heard it snowed in May once...

Excuse me, I have to go find some wood to knock on.