Last weekend citrusboy and I went out for sushi (as was promised to me) and we happened to get an itemized bill.

I thought I would share with you all the extent to which we are total and utter pig-os.

Just in case you couldn't count: that's 24 items between the two of us, 9 of which are rolls containing 6 pieces each (that's 54 pieces), 10 of which are nigiri and sashimi (so that's at least another 20 pieces), and 5 of which are tempura appetizers.

To our defense: it was all you can eat. So we ate until we could eat no more.

Oink.

You know those cell phone charms you get out of, like, vending machines?

Well, I got a Hello Kitty one and I think she has a little bit of an attitude. Especially for someone who resides in a Taco Bell.

Well, in one week I've managed to finish two Wii games: Trauma Center and Cooking Mama.

Trauma Center was pretty fun but easy enough to finish and definitely worth a rental.

Cooking Mama got boring really quickly as you do the same thing over and over again, but it was kind of amusing to see which recipe would pop up next. They even had sushi, which was exciting (for me anyhow) but my favourites were perogies and truffles (of course!).

Now I just need to work on finishing Super Paper Mario but I'm so slow. I die all the damned time. I need Super Life, that's what I need.

Finally.

I'm done exams and can stop ignoring people. And this blog (damn you, Facebook!).

Except now, I'll be ignoring people in favour of the Wii.

Nothing exciting has happened in Winnipeg lately, mostly because I've had my face in a textbook for about three weeks now so haven't had the chance to notice anything wild and crazy.

Except for the guy who horked up on my porch while Jen and I were trying to eat some sushi in silent bliss.

So, nothing has changed then, you say. Indeed.

Stranded... At the gym...
What shall I do?
What will they say Tuesday at school?

Gyyyym, can't you see that I'm a misery
Made a start, now we're apart
There's nothing left for me
Exercise has flown, all alone
I sit and wonder why whyyyyyyyyy oh why
You closed on Easter Monday,
Oh Gym....

So my Stats exam is on Friday they 13th.

What's the probability of that, I ask you?

According to Google Maps, this is the way to travel if you're in Winnipeg and you just happen to want to go to Krakow, Poland.

My personal favourite? Step #24. I'll be sure to get right on that...

Winnipeg, City of Public Defecation

See where I live, people?

And this is where, like, half of Winnipeg works too...

And why am I always staring at guys taking a shit in broad daylight?

Nails, Nails, Nails!

As I was getting this one done, we couldn't decide what it reminded us of - all of us were just sure it reminded us of something.

We finally decided these are the totally ultimate 80s toes:
And the not so 80s hands:

Wednesdays are kickboxing days.

This last particular Wednesday, right before kickboxing, I somehow managed to pull out the string/elastic thingy that holds one's pants up.

I spent the entire class trying to keep from exposing my ass to the rest of the participants as the instructor made us run around the gym, skip rope, and other things hazardous to my pants falling down.

I'm sure I looked like the complete fool that I felt...

A little Winnipeg bird emailed me some pictures of Friday's festivities. I hope you feel my pain.

Went to a party on Friday night. Drank two bottles of red wine. Woke up in pretty okay shape. Just a little stupid, that's all.

Turns out citrusboy was mixing beer with wine, so he woke up wrecked. Couldn't even move his head.

So he enlisted my help, along with Jen's, to go get him some Burger King to soothe the angry hangover beast.

Now, it's pretty warm in Winnipeg. Ten feet high snow caps are melting everywhere.

So Jen and I are sitting in the car, waiting to turn out of the Burger King parking lot and into the street. Her window is rolled down, oh, about one inch.

And apparently, unbeknown to us, there's a huge (I mean HUGE) puddle right next to our car.

Of course, cars are driving down the street, past us, and right into this huge puddle. Which then proceeds to throw up a wall of filthy, greasy, street water right through the one inch crack in the window and onto Jen and me. Twice.

So Jen's hair, Jen's face, Jen's glasses, Jen's jacket, and Jen's purse are plastered in nastiness. The ceiling of the car, the dash, and the seats are coated. My jacket and my pants are dirty. All we can do is stare at each other and laugh till it hurts. I mean, really? What else can you do? How does that happen? A one inch crack...

Somehow, the Burger King remained untouched. Not a single drop fell into the bag even though it was wide open. Luck of the drunk.

I woke up this morning to discover that my pee was red. A nice shade of blood red.

I panicked for a full ten minutes (and by panic, I mean run around in circles screaming in high pitch while my heart beats right out of my chest) before I realized I had eaten a whole whack of beets the night before.

I am such an idiot sometimes.

This again? Oh my gaw.

Give it up, stupid Winnipeg winter. It can't be -40°C forever!

Wait. What am I saying? It probably can. I heard it snowed in May once...

Excuse me, I have to go find some wood to knock on.

Okay. So now I can add to yesterday's post about tweedledum and tweedledee. Thank god. I mean, what would I do with my life otherwise, I ask you?

Apparently tweedledum does not know what "devoid" means either.

(And I would just like to add that I am not making fun of people whose first language is not English. These girls have been born and bred in Canada. In fact, they've probably lived here longer than I have.)

And if I remember correctly, she also asked me to define "void."

Tweedledee went on to correct my speech some more, and decided to change "the child and his or her parents" to "the child and their parents."

I can't take it anymore. I just can't. Especially after they made me come into school at 9 in the morning - that's SIX hours early - just so I could listen to more of their idiocy.

*sigh*

Well, as usual, I get stuck working with the dumbasses of the faculty.

One doesn't know what "restitution" means. Another doesn't know what "commence" means.

Just how am I supposed to write a 10 minute speech with these people when they don't know basic vocabulary, are quite the opposite of comma happy, and think it's a tragedy when a paragraph only contains one sentence.

And then they want to correct my section of the speech. Please ladies, just leave it alone. Don't touch it, don't look at it, don't even breathe on it! You might contaminate it and lead me to write things like, and I quote, "They will deal with the most important issues dealt with through their plan of the day." Say what, now?

And my lab partner doesn't know how to add percentages together to get a total percent. She feels the need to call me and whine about how she doesn't know how to do that part. She wants to ask the professor.

Ow. My head hurts.

I've just realized I haven't posted my latest mani yet. Not that anybody really cares, but it keeps me amused. When the snow is up to your earlobes, it doesn't take much, let me tell you. Hey, no giggling. I can bloody well hear you!

No pedi yet as I've gotten lazy, nobody sees my toes anyway, and karate-ka don't really care about how they look. I hope.

Maybe I should make an appointment...

Well, I'm proud to say I put my reading week to good use!

No, not reading.


Actually finished two - TWO - gamecube games: Paper Mario and Luigi's Mansion. That brings my total up to three games ever finished! In like 5 years. Whatevs! I did it, teehee!

Also spent some time drooling over the Wii. I totally kicked citrusboy's ass is a racing game. Obviously this is the console for me. Submit all donations to the cause at winnipeg_damsel@hotmail.com.

So we, citrusboy and I that is, decided to treat ourselves on Valentine's Day and thus we bought some very sticky, very gooey, very yummy Valentine's cupcakes.

Voila:
Now, as citrusboy pointed out, the heart just happens to say I'm your's. Is there ever an acceptable reason for writing I'm your's? Ever? Me thinks not. I think the bakery Chiquita was a teeny bit, um, overzealous in her application of the grammar rules. Wait! That's sexist! Maybe it was a guy...

On second thought, maybe not.
Which is my favourite Valentine of all time, by the way... How romantic!

BRRRRRRRRRRRR...*







*Holy shit, it's cold.